I had a lot to learn
about the answers
I never said I had.
But they appeared
when Becca’s eyes
hollowed out.
The rigidity of my jaw shut
before I swallowed my jealousy
over sleepless nights.
I thrashed in my spirit’s burn pits.
God appointed a guardian angel
to help me drop an anchor
attached to a grudge.
Becca’s crooked grin and sultry
wink extinguished the doubt
that I’d applied for the price
of discounted dates.
Dates where Becca failed to show,
leaving me with the silence
screaming loneliness at a table alone.
And I’ve earned more than enough
mistakes to retrace my steps.
I built the courage to guard my lips
from flinging daggers of poison.
But nights spent more than enough
time chasing dreams of catching Becca
in a maze, just her and me.
I’d pin her down
and kiss her.
She’d switch positions,
holding my wrists against
the earth as she kissed me.
I unbuttoned her shirt.
She pulled me up,
urging me to forgive her.
I held my breath hostage
before forgiving her.