Lupine bloomed purple
with shades of pink and white.
I brushed my hands over the showy
yellow arrowleaf balsamroot.
I spent my life
gripping either side
of the bathroom
sink, bathing in my insecurity.
I dated women who shamed
me into keeping them around.
After Michelle moved to Texas,
I released the depression
in my chest.
I grappled with perfectionism
and that’s left me single
and unhappy.
I grasped for straws
to pin this walking contradiction
but the guilt spreads across my face.
The dirty water
washed away the arrogance
that hid inside me.
I took back the time I’d wasted
on living for the faint of heart,
but now I breathe Eloise
and have ever since she said
she’d meet me at her house
to sip scotch over rocks and belly shots.
Eloise had my heart since she hit my parked
car in a crowded parking lot.
The stars aligned, and I knew her soft hand
had room for a ring on her finger.
I told her what I felt.
Eloise told me she felt the same.
I was too stupid to spill my guts
until I shed my ignorance.