Haze was sleeping in Seattle
when she mumbled Siri on her iPhone
and then Nathan’s name.
Would you like to call Nathan? Siri said.
Haze stretched and said, yes,
in a dream-like state.
Nathan’s ringtone went off.
I’m So Into You startled him
out of his nightmare
Nathan wiped the sleep from his eyes
and unlocked his phone.
Nathan and Haze dated throughout high school.
After graduation, Haze said she needed to find herself.
Nathan thought what they found together was enough.
He arched a brow. What?
Nathan formed his lips to say her name,
but he withdrew the words from his tongue
to hear what she had to say.
Nathan hadn’t heard from Haze in seven years.
Haze spoke with her eyes closed,
but tears streamed down her cheeks.
Haze expressed guilt for hurting Nathan
for leaving the way she did.
Haze wanted Nathan back, but he’d be a fool
to return to the arms of a heartbreaker.
Nathan’s friends told him so.
His father and mother gave him
the same advice.
Nathan bounced around their concerns,
but he couldn’t risk the regret of letting
happiness slip through his fingers—not again.
Nathan threw the covers off his body
and stumbled to his feet on the cold wood floor.
He rinsed in his thoughts in a hot shower.
He threw a shirt and sweater over his shoulders
and shoved his feet into a pair of jeans.
Nathan grabbed his car keys and phone.
He slid his feet into a pair of shoes
and locked the door behind him and slid
into his car.
He turned up the dial that played ‘90s rock.
He pushed a button and heat blasted
through the vents.
He sang and drummed his thumbs along
the steering wheel to the beat.
Nathan pulled out of the long driveway
and blinkered onto the highway
to merge with the freeway
that stretched out
before him like a ribbon
of concrete, winding its way through
the rolling green hills
mixed with stacks of evergreen trees.
Nathan passed cars as though
blowing his comfort was an emergency,
and cars pulled to the shoulder.
The lights of confusion
flashed in his eyes,
and he laid on the horn
drowning out the siren in his head.
Nathan resolved it a thousand times.
And what transpired was a onetime occurrence,
a mystery waiting to be unraveled.
He learned in school but never attended
classes.
The GPS said he’d reached
his destination to the left.
The cabin stood nestled
among the towering pines,
its weathered timbers
blending seamlessly with the
surrounding forest.
A thin wisp of smoke curled
from the stone chimney,
and the scent of wood
smoke hung heavy in the air.
He pulled to the shoulder of the road
to catch a glimpse of her through the large
bay window.
Nathan saw no movement.
The living room light was on,
and the TV played music videos.
Nathan sighed with butterflies.
He rolled down his window
and inhaled the fresh mountain breeze.
Nathan pulled into the long driveway.
He didn’t come this far for nothing,
so he approached the cabin.
Nathan knocked, but no one answered.
He picked the lock on the front door
and let himself inside.
He smiled.
Haze and Nathan used to pick locks with bobby pins
and they’d get old men to drool over Haze
as Nathan lifted their wallets.
That was back when they were kids.
We’d pray for forgiveness
only to fall into the temptation
they fought for one day
and then one day,
Haze came with a positive
pregnancy test.
Nathan couldn’t tell his parents.
And Haze’s mother would never let her live it down.
So she did what she thought she had to.
No one was the wiser.
Nathan blinked back tears.
Haze’s lakeside cabin
soothed the nerves
that’s driven Nathan this far.
Nathan promised himself he wouldn’t be here.
But he lost a bet with his self-esteem. “Just like when we were kids,” a voice behind him said.
Nathan tensed and twisted to see Haze standing with one arm looped around her waist and smoking a cancer stick with the other hand.
“I was just—”
“Save it,” Haze said.
Nathan lifted and lowered his hands. “It looks like you’ve been expecting company.” Nathan motioned. “Lasagna, French bread, and a salad.”
“You forgot the wine,” Haze said, taking another drag.
“Wine?” Nathan looked at a tin bucket of ice with a bottle of red wine tucked inside.
“Your favorite.” Haze tucked her long, red bangs behind her ear. Her freckles camouflaged her deep green eyes.
Nathan narrowed one eye and pointed. “You were expecting me, weren’t you?”
Haze put her death stick in the ashtray. “We both,” she exhaled, “know you wouldn’t have talked to me.”
“Can you blame me?” Nathan said ruder than he’d wanted to.
Haze held up her hands. “No, I don’t blame you.”
“So, what is this? Are you getting guilt off your chest?”
“If only it were that simple.” Haze grinned.
Nathan folded his lips under his teeth.
Haze closed the distance between them. She trailed her eyes along his toned chest and kissable lips. “I never cheated.”
Nathan’s heart thumped in his chest. “What do you want with me?”
“The same thing you want,” she said.
Haze dragged her lower lip across his cheek to meet her mouth on his neck.
The memories of their high school days flooded his mind like an orgasm.
“You want this,” she said, kissing him.
“And I want this,” Nathan said, returning the kisses
and clearing the food to fuck on the kitchen table.
Haze choked back a lump in her throat. “I want the baby.”
“So do I.” Nathan kissed her. “So do I.”