You’ve left me feeling frozen but not the kind that will thaw and promise new life.
The kind that splinters; where even without touching it, the sound alone brings pain.
No one would dare touch it, no one would dare come near.
No one is brave enough to draw near something so deadly and so marked and so incapable of transformation into something else.
You’ve left me without air, the shock of what you did stole all the air from my lungs.
A freezing emptiness where the air should be. The emptiness is somehow so much larger than the air was. How is it so much larger?
The frozen emptiness has over filled me, far past my normal capacity with the frozen sharpness and helpless. And still I have no air and I cannot dispel the emptiness out of my lungs. It is stuck and I am choking on it.
And the air won’t return, just as the image of who I thought you were will not return.
Why is this your choice? Why is this the value you have assigned me? Something that is worse than nothing, wishing to be sucked into the nothing to eliminate the disgrace of all I am and join the nothing, because it would be better. But it will not suck me in. I am sentenced to continue. To live around the air I cannot breathe. Me and the frozen emptiness.