Natalia invited me to a coffee shop
to talk about her new flame.
She wanted my opinion.
And she knew I’d give it.
Even if Natalia didn’t like it,
she’d accept my opinion.
She’d thank me for being a friend.
I wanted more but didn’t want to lose
our friendship.
I’d seen her off on several dates
over the last five years.
She’d swing by and twirl around,
asking me what I thought.
I couldn’t say what I thought out loud.
More than anything,
those were the times I wanted her to stay.
I knew everything about her.
Natalia knew almost everything about me,
everything except that I loved her.
I dated occasionally but never wanted
to admit what I was missing.
I shared pictures with Natalia that way;
she didn’t think I was gay.
A flashing red light blinks
through an open sign.
I entered the unevenly lit
coffeeshop first and reserved
a window table
on a Saturday afternoon.
I ordered espressos.
I knew what she liked.
I have since college.
I looked through
the large tinted window.
Couples walked their dogs with leashes
along the Green Way,
chatting about God only knows what.
Natalia leaned on my ear
when she needed one.
I sipped warm brew through
a straw, splitting long
and short straws.
I waited for Natalia.
She always kept me waiting.
Couples on dates thought
a woman stood me up.
I shot them a friendly smile.
At least, I thought it was friendly.
But some said my smile gave
Leave me alone, vibes.
Natalia pushed through the door
and lifted her sunglasses above her bangs.
She moved her eyes around.
I waved her over before she hollered my name.
Natalia wrapped her long, red hair around her neck
and approached me in her checkered sundress.
She smoothed her dress and sat down.
“I ordered you a vanilla espresso.” I pointed.
Natalia took a sip. “Perfect.” She flashed an okay sign.
“I’m glad you like it.”
Natalia pushed the cup away,
leaned forward and rested her hands
on the oak table.
“So…”
Soft jazz that played from the ceiling
interrupted the awkward silence.
“So,” I said.
Natalia moved her eyes from mine. “Right…” She shook her head. “I met a guy, and I think he’s the one.”
I took a sip of coffee, set the cup on the table, and pushed it away. “Got a picture?” I arched a brow.
Natalia lifted and then lowered her hands. “I’m sure you have other things to do this afternoon,” Natalia said. “So, I won’t keep you long.” She unlocked her phone and swiped through pictures. “Here,” she said.
“Found it?” I chuckled. “This must be some guy,” I said. “I’ve never seen you this shaky.”
“There,” she said, handing me the phone.
“It’s a picture of me.” I moved to return the phone, but she held up her hands.
“What do you think?” Natalia brushed tears away with her fingers.
I narrowed my eyes and studied her eyes. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“I’ve never been more serious about anything,” Natalia said with a crack in her voice. “So…” She shrugged. “What do you think?”
“I think you’ve found a keeper.” I reached to embrace her hand and stroked her palm.
“Think he’ll love me at my worst?”
“Only if you’ll love me at my best,” I said. “Which, believe me, isn’t that good.”
Natalia laughed.