You should have met me later
(so much later)
After years away from my stifling hometown
(and the unseen trauma of childhood)
After days spent wailing on the floor
(not ’cause of you; don’t give yourself that much credit)
After nights teetering on the edge of nothingness
(and thinking nothingness sounded pretty good)
After almost disappearing into the background
(and my screams going ignored)
After pulling myself back up
(not by my bootstraps, but with sheer will and lots of help)
After learning not to make myself small
(how much I shrunk those last months with you)
After celebrating my bravery
(leaving you was the bravest thing I’ve ever done)
After the scars have faded
(but not disappeared)
After finding my wild
(and not being so meek)
After realizing I deserved better
(I thought you were the best I could have)
After understanding you knew you were hurting me
(and you still did it anyway)
After finding love and strength and stability
(you were a coward then and probably still are)
You should have met me much later
(but then I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you)
(what a loss that would have been for you)