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Fake Boyfriend, By: Andrew Cyr

February 15, 2024 by Editors

Fake Boyfriend, By: Andrew Cyr

“What is it?” I said first thing in the morning. She was in the lobby. People pecked at the keys on their keyboards. Secretaries fielded calls to agents, and the copy machine spit copies for signatures. Coffee hung thick, as did workers’ bath soaps. Carmen’s office had a window, and the view of the I-5 was enough to entertain the bored of heart. We processed life insurance claims. The pay wasn’t good—it wasn’t bad either.
“It’s Seth,” Carmen said as tears spread across her cheeks.
“What about him?” I gripped her shoulder before asking myself whether it was cool.
“He cheated.”
I shrugged. “You really that surprised?” I arched a brow.
Carmen brushed her tears with her fingers. “Just say it.”
“Say what?”
“What you want to say,” she said. “Say it.”
“And what is that?” I said, reading between every word in her train of thought.
“That I’m—”
“You’re not stupid.” I touched her forearm.
“Don’t tell my mind,” Carmen said. “It doesn’t believe my heart.”
“Your heart isn’t always right.”
“How would you know?” Carmen folded her arms and glared at me as though my opinion alone had shaded her day.
“I’m glad he cheated.”
Carmen rolled her eyes. “You guys are all the same.”
“Is it possible you picked a bad guy?”
“How would you know what’s best for me?”
“And what kind of man would want a train wreck like me?” Carmen laughed through snivels. Carmen closed the distance between us to reach and straighten my collar. “Little crooked there, buddy.”
My heart bumped around in my chest like a bumper car. “Thanks, pal,” I said.
Carmen winked. “Another Valentine’s Day alone.” She turned to head for her office. Her heels clicked with each step over the marble tile.
“I am,” I said loud enough for her to hear.
Carmen paused and twisted around with more tears. “What?”
“I’ve loved you since the minute I met you,” I said. “Well, not the exact minute, but after our first conversation, I knew you were a keeper.”
Carmen stood, arms looped around her waist, and her weight shifted to her back heel. “That’s a shame,” she said, smoothing her dark skirt with her hands and wrapping her long, red hair around her neck. The new chandeliers lit a halo around her head.
“Why?”
“Because Seth doesn’t exist.” Carmen grinned.
“You wanted to make me…”
“Jealous is the word you’re looking for.”
“There is no Seth?”
“I knew you’d express your feelings for me if I pretended I had a man.”
“But now you’re the one expressing your love.”
Carmen blushed. “Will you be my Valentine?”
“I’ll have to ask Alley,” I said.
“Who’s Alley?”
“My girlfriend.”
“You are seeing someone?”
“She doesn’t exist, so I guess that’s a yes.”
The nosey secretaries wiped tears with tissues.

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