I held the icy rail and scaled the stairs
to Natalia’s apartment.
My windburned cheeks stung.
My chapped lips cracked.
I doubled over, placing my hands
on my knees to catch my breath.
I put my ear to the door
as a deafening silence hung thick.
I knocked.
I nibbled on my thumb.
No movement.
No answer.
I dug into my pockets,
and retrieved a spare key,
twisted a key in her doorknob,
and the owners changed the locks.
I moved to the window.
I cupped my brows and peeked
through the blinds.
The living room’s fan light stretched
visibility through the place.
Natalia shifted the second-hand furniture
on a U-Haul to store in a storage.
I didn’t want to believe it.
But I knew Natalia had left me
and this small town behind.
Forgive her?
As if whenever I return
to memories of us,
I’ll accept the loss
of our future.
If that’s forgiveness,
I can’t forgive her.
My shoulders weighed
me as I stepped one
step at a time down
the second floor.
“Mark!” Natalia said.
I spun around
as though I’d heard
a ghost.
“I moved, yes,” Natalia said through fogged breath, pointing in the general direction of the first floor. “I moved to the first floor.” She had a thick coat, gloves, and a stocking cap on. “This apartment has three bedrooms.”
“Bigger,” I said. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Natalia looped her arms around her waist. “Did you read the text I sent you?”
I held my hands to my mouth and blew warmth. “I didn’t tell you I changed phone numbers?”
Natalia unlocked her phone and scrolled through messages. “Oh.” Her eyes widened.
“So, this is all your fault.” I smiled.
Natalia folded her lips under her teeth. White flakes touched Natalia’s hair. “I’m lucky to have you.”