The sun scaled the horizon to hang
out with the day’s forecasted clouds.
I slumped against the window,
cupping a cup of coffee,
and blowing from the brim.
Lacy flakes of white poke
through tufts of dead grass
and icicles hung on the roof,
melting with the morning
sunrise as January
crept in, my resolution
clung to the tip of my tongue.
I graduated from college last year.
And I wanted to settle down sometime.
I didn’t know if that time was now.
I sipped more coffee.
I set the cup down
and sparked a cigarette.
I scratched the back
of my neck with my free hand.
I took a drag, held it in,
and blew the frustration,
to my passions delight,
through my nostrils.
Two girls wanted me.
I hungered for them
but for different reasons.
Jodie or Cailyn,
which girl molded
with the beliefs
I held dearly
with my texts
ending sincerely, me.
Because they know me
or at least they think
they do.
But neither could unpack
the tension behind
these big brown eyes.
Jodie said I outlasted
her ex in her bed.
Cailyn wants to introduce me
to her folks.
I was all but ready.
But not ready enough
to break it off with Jodie.
That was then, and Cailyn
wanting to introduce me
to her parents was everything
that I kept under my tongue.
Love. What I needed was Cailyn’s love.
Her mom has been a great mother-in-law.
Cailyn entered the living room nude,
asking me if I’d like to go another round.
Cailyn’s love was more than words.
Her love was a way of life.